Why is it hard to talk about screentime?
There's rising unease about the consequences of excessive, unmanaged screentime & social media use. You might also share this concern as a parent, as a working professional, a school administrator or as a student.
Unfortunately, like most modern problems, there isn't clear consensus in government guidance, academic literature, medical advice or even amongst "podcast celebrities" about the size, scope and nature of the problem. Or that it's even a problem to begin with!
So, the common person only has their intuition to rely upon as they try to find ways to relieve this feeling of uneasiness.
In this post, we shine a light on what's making it difficult for many people to find solutions for their intuitively perceived problem with social media-overuse or screentime in general. We'll also share some thoughts on ways to address it.
We don't know how to talk about imbalanced relationships with technology - at work, at school and at home.
To solve a problem - real or perceived - we first need to be able to describe it. Only then, can we create (or match) a solution for it. Coca Cola addresses the problem of refreshment whereas water solves the problem of thirst. Easy to understand, right?
When it comes to talking about relationships with technology - the vocabulary is garbled, laden with guilt and confusing. Asking someone their screentime makes them feel like you are asking for a list of their fears and insecurities. It raises defenses. No bueno.
The mumbo jumbo
Which of these 5 terms do you most easily understand in the context of excessive screentime?
Addiction.
Continuous Partial Attention.
Digital Agency.
Digital Wellness.
Problematic Interactive Media Use.
If you picked addiction, that puts you in the majority opinion. When we talk with new clients who want to find ways to control screentime - they often use language borrowed from how the media described crises associated with cigarette smoking or opioids.
Addiction is a short-hand term for expressing the lack of control over the content and/or the quantity of usage.
It's also simple.
Beyond Addiction
When you look past the fear porn around social media and screentime consequences - the constructive dialog and emerging solutions in this nascent space use new language laced with academic theory and medical overtones.
For instance, there's debate on whether excessive use of social media can really be categorized as an addiction. (Health Insurance companies don't think so). And so, terms like Digital Wellness/Well-being were birthed as a meta term that bridges the physical and mental health consequences. Cool idea. Just not simple, yet.
Other terms used are 'Continuous Partial Attention' instead of constantly distracted. 'Digital Agency' instead of control. 'Social Connection' instead of friendship or relationships.
Everything that's more correct and nuanced than addiction is also more complicated, complex and inaccessible.
And so, as it always does, - simple wins. Digital Addiction sticks.
The difficulty of talking about it at work:
What if you are amongst the 3 out of 5 people that check E-mails or Slack messages within the first 30 minutes of rolling out of bed?
Or, if you are like nearly 40% of employees that check Instagram or TikTok while multitasking on a conference call? (40% are those that admitted it)
There's research now that shows we switch to new content once every 20 seconds or so. Attention spans have shattered to less than a minute.
How does a common person talk about this at work when they perceive that something's wrong in their relationship with technology? When they feel exhausted all the time and creativity is in the dump?
Do they go up to their manager and talk about how they only have 'continuous partial attention' during team meetings? Nope!
It's sure as heck not going to be a conversation about feeling 'addicted' to technology. That seems like a thing that affects kids watching too much TikTok or playing videogames. Not something for busy executives, salespeople or software engineers.
And so, what happens is that we end up with cute HR campaigns and email signatures like the ones that say "I'm sending this email outside of your business hours, and there's absolutely no expectation for an immediate response. Please feel free to address it at your earliest convenience during your work hours. Thank you!"
We have had clients who have told us that they don't respond to e-mail after hours because they want to model positive work/life boundaries. And yet, these same clients also admit to reading every message as it comes at night - even if they don't actually respond.
Imbalanced relationships with technology at work accelerate employee burnout and attrition - both of which costs employers millions a year.
And yet. We don't have the words to talk about it.
The difficulty of talking about it at school:
Educational institutions are the epicenter (or battleground) of this challenge with excessive, unmanaged screentime and social media use. Schools are already complex multi-stakeholder system comprised of teacher unions, politicians, PTAs and taxpayers. These discussions can often be the proverbial straw.
On the one hand we have the desperate need to democratize and scale high quality education. On the other hand, we have distracting devices that make a hard job already harder. Add to this mix, the utility cellphones offer to help manage overstretched family and after-school schedules. Not to forget the uniquely sad American phenomenon of the phones becoming a rescue line for kids facing danger in schools.
Quickly, the aforementioned lack of clarity in the government guidance, academic literature, medical advice and podcasting-influencers creates an environment ripe for skepticism, blame and contentious dialog. Some school administrators can't imagine how using Snapchat, TikTok or any social media could ever be of value to kids. They'd rather just ban the device during school hours because -again- the analogy of addiction trumps nearly all other ideas. Others think of this as a parenting issue that teachers and schools are being asked to address. They want nothing to do with it.
Some schools we've worked with, have tried digital literacy programs or Digital Citizenship curriculums to promote safety on the Internet and address challenges such as Cyberbullying. The discussions have met with eye-rolling kids who see these discussions as check-the-box exercises instead of originating from a place of real empathy.
Not addressing imbalanced relationships with current technology at schools are leaving students unprepared to thrive alongside even exponentially more intelligent forms of tech - as AI proliferates everything.
And yet. We don't have the words to talk about it.
The difficulty of talking about it at home:
Emails over dinner happened way before Instagram, TikTok or any other social media. The prestigious BlackBerry signaled importance. Many waved this symbol of high rank in front of their families, shushing "trivial" discussions about school, neighbors and relatives so that they could send off an important text.
Today, this relationship with technology has morphed into Netflix binges, breaking news cycles, Insta reels and endless WhatsApp group chats. Over 80% of parents reported that mobile devices interrupt time with their children. Nearly half of American couples have reported that their partner is distracted when they're trying to talk to them.
How does a common person talk about this at home when they perceive that something's wrong in their relationship with technology? When living rooms are silent and friend circle are shrinking?
We've seen parents create "house rules" such as no phones at the dinner table or no devices in the kid's bedroom at bedtime. Arbitrary at best, such rules are often tainted with the sentiment of "Rules are for thee, not for me"; as parents then often retreat to using devices late in the night either for work, or for unwinding after work.
Families aren't sure how to teach their kids, or model positive digital habits. And so, they just add this to an already long list of latent anxiety. Unfortunately, worrying about your own individual use, or that of a child or partner (or parent) moves us no further. What starts with worry - just ends up as extra time on an infinite scroll in some app.
Not addressing imbalanced relationships with current technology at home is furthering and accelerating our collective loneliness.
And yet. We don't have the words to talk about it.
Learning how to talk about Screentime.
At Scroll By Choice, we engage employers, parents, schools, public libraries and individuals about screentime, social media and the overall imbalanced relationships with technology. Here are things we've learned about how to talk about these complex conversations.
Employers/At Work: We know employees are sensitive about their digital habits and don't want employers 'snooping'. A boss that asks about TikTok breaks runs the risk of signaling that they're a micromanager. So, here are 2 of our power questions:
Do you think our organization has a strong digital culture (e.g. cameras on or off during calls, expectations around in-person vs. asynchronous meetings etc.)
Is there clarity and transparency about how our organization communicates with each other - and with its core customers. Is it over e-mail? Is everything in Slack? What about texts or enterprise software tools?
Often - these questions are enough to unravel the lived employee experience where you invite them to share discussions of FOMO (Fear of missing out), anxiety around response times or feeling bored in meetings. It also helps you observe and bridge intergenerational differences in your workforce.
At School: Administrators and teachers are already experts in the field of education. We don't need to step on those toes. What we find that works is to come at this challenge from a place of curiosity. You might consider provoking students (as young as 10) with questions such as the following:
How do you think YouTube (or Instagram or TikTok etc.) makes money?
How would you design a community of your closest friends?
What choices would you make if you were an algorithm that must achieve its mission (our favorite!)
These activities allow lifting the veil around persuasive design and extractive business models. It gets students talking about social capital. All of these are excellent jumping off points arming students with vocabulary beyond guilt and shame. These have enough hooks for students to continue the discussion on their own and with teachers. And we like that the best.
At Home: The discussion inside the home is all about modeling and choices. With families, we coach adults and kids to document their digital choices agreement which includes:
What: This simply creates a circle around things the family unit considers safe, fun and healthy - in moderation. It's not going to be the same list of things for adults and kids or even between partners. Declaring it transparently creates an opportunity to reclaim power.
When: Checking text messages while driving is different from reading news articles while sitting on the toilet. Make it clear when it's okay for others to call you out - allows the family to remain on the same page abiding by the same standards.
How Much. We find that families struggle most with this discussion (because, again, fear of addiction). So, instead of focusing on the raw quantity of screentime or social media time - we find that the "how much" discussion better served as ratios. How much IRL/URL time? How much game time/learning time.
Start. Now.
We haven't lived with this iteration of interactive technology long enough for PHDs, MDs and others to deliver their final verdict. And before that happens, we'll have moved onto other immersive and personalized forms of tech. Business models will evolve faster than academic conferences - so as a common person armed with intuition - we encourage you to act. It's not about embarking upon a digital detox or living like it's 1995. It's about finding a path forward that allows you to feel productive and creative. Feel human.
About Scroll by Choice
We are a digital wellness company focused on helping people reclaim control over their screentime. Our research based, quantifiable and personalized solutions boost innate human traits that become dulled from persuasively designed technology.
We deliver solutions for organizations who care about workplace wellness, educational institutions who want to improve student outcomes as well as for individuals interested in reclaiming control over their digital habits.
If we can help your organization, school or family talk about this topic - email us at learnmore@scrollbychoice.com. We're happy to send you additional resources if all you'd like to do is learn more.